Keeping Me in Peace, llvl

Having purpose in your life is both exciting and seductive. Each and every one of us has something wonderful to offer. When we hone our skills and put them to work where they’ll be of service (or at least the best we can imagine), we’re making a difference and doing it in a way that helps us to flourish. it’s an all-round good deal.

But the problem with purpose is that it tends to be all consuming. It’s easy to believe that you have the only piece necessary to complete the Peace Puzzle. And so all your efforts get placed on the purpose, and few get concentrated on you and what you need to keep these efforts going.

You gotta find the balance. ok, ok. I have to find the balance. So, I’m making small efforts. Not going to talk about them, let’s give them a month to get rooted. And really, other people’s health and exercise regimens aren’t all that interesting… But it’s all about being present both to Peace’s needs and your own.

So… I’m trying. Because if I’m not making Peace with who I am and trying to make me more Peaceful… I won’t have it for the long haul. And Peace is definitely a long-haul business. Peace and health to you — so there can be Peace and health to the world.

Peace for the Horror, llvl

Usually when I read of a tragedy as it rolls across national news, I have no tie to it. You look at it and you sorrow. Empathy is one step removed. And I would say that is as it should be. Over identification with a sad thing isn’t healthy.

But this sad thing touched acquaintances of mine. The situation happened in a community that is enough like pieces of my vida local that it was possible to see a bit more clearly, if still not experience, the shock and devastation such violence would bring to a community.

I imagine: A man (in this case) did a horrible thing. Just a bit ago he was one of us. Just a bit ago, I hugged him after he said what he felt. And then this man whom I had hugged did something so indescribably monstrous. And what he has done can not be mitigated.

It roils the soul.

So I look at this little church and this community and sorrow for them. I send them all the Love, all the Prayers I can muster. What was done was the work of an insane man. If we had better mental health services could this tragedy have been averted? I don’t know. And aren’t such thoughts ways to look away from the pain? There’s no way national laws can stop a solitary act of madness. The reality of that helplessness is awful.

What we do know is that their holding on to one another; their acknowledging that what is true is true, their sorrowing for the mother of this child and for themselves; and I would add for the man who did this heinous, heinous act so vile that he will forever be outside the embrace of society, this is the only way to any sort of healing. I wish them Peace. I know it will be a long time before they can feel it enfolding them. And so I must bear witness to the excruciating pain and stand firm in my willingness to see them. And I must do so without taking on their pain which is not mine, except oh, so abstractly, and at the same time live with a fact I often push away… there is such brokenness among us.

I wish us all Peace.

Transitioning to Peace, llvl

There is no vida more local than our bodies. The majority of us grow up complaining about these temples, we’re too fat/thin, our mouth is too big/small, our hair is too straight/curly. We’ve all got a beef.

But there are those whose beef is bigger. Their self is completely out of alignment with their body. And that’s torturous. Society is only slowly beginning to be aware of this struggle. In small pockets, people are beginning to listen to their children and come to terms with their truths. Watch Katie Couric interview Jazz, a 14-year-old transgender youth.

But others are frightened by this and too many transgender folk pay a horrendous price for being who they are. Our fear and transphobia too often causes them to hate themselves. I couldn’t find the exact figures for the statistics on suicides and attempted suicides, but, here are some fairly stark facts (from Equality PA)

74% of transgender people report experiencing harassment or mistreatment at work;
74% of children in grades K-12 who expressed a transgender identity or gender non-conformity experienced harassment at school and 23% of those students experienced physical assault; and
49% (nearly half) of transgender people were verbally harassed or otherwise disrespected when seeking public accommodation such as eating in restaurant or getting on bus.

I’m so lucky to have Bill Stayton, world renowned sexologist as a member of my congregation. He’s leading/teaching/supporting us, at church and in our valley, as we come to terms with a life that is far larger than we’ve understood.

Everyone deserves to live in Peace. Transfolk have a hard journey to make. We may not understand, but we can be part of creating a world where there’s enough Peace for them to work through to who they are. We can be present to them as they become fully who they’re meant to be. Peace. Let’s make it. And let’s bear witness as people make it for themselves.

Defiant Peace, llvl

I think too often we think of Peace as sort of a milquetoast cousin. (Caspar Milquetoast, cartoon character drawn by HT Webster (1885-1952), American Cartoonist. a very timid, unassertive, spineless person, especially one who is easily dominated or intimidated. Do’t you love that word?) But any way Peace. It gets thought of as sort of soppy, and saccharine. Or such an esteemed ideal there’s just not arriving at its boundless possibilities.

But it’s not. It’s strong and persistent. It trickles the idea of itself into even the most recalcitrant soul. Peace.

Yesterday, just a day after this picture was taken, was cold and blustery. This morning, despite the wind’s bravado, there are still leaves proudly dancing. They’ve made their own Peace with this season and they’re leaving in their own time. In the meantime, there’s Beauty and Abundance and Color. And no small amount of Joy.

There’s a lot we could learn from that, don’t you think? Peace… it’s never out of season — and it’s always out of season, and that’s it’s beauty.

Waiting in Peace, llvl

I have a lot to thank my parents, Sam and Betty, for. Some of it is very simple. They taught me to show up. (They tried to teach me to write notes and I confess, I’m far better at email that making sure I get my notes written.)

And because of their slow diminishment in old age, any terrors I might have had about the hospital were also overcome. (Someone once said, oh, horrible, you had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night by yourself. Oh, really at that point, piece of cake.) I had some rather wonderful late night giggles with both parents. And was glad to have a relief lambie at home to make mom comfortable. And thank goodness the nurses were really clear with Mommie-girl I should never bring her back.

But showing up. To say, “Look you have a baby how exciting!” “Oh, you’re feeling poorly, I brought some soup.” or “I’ll just watch while you sleep.” Or the really hard one: “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” And when you can’t get there physically, send a card. or a cheery email — because everything’s on line.

Those visits are made easier by the other visits, short and long, that we do over a beer or a cup of tea.

People matter so much to us, they make such a difference in our lives. It’s good to let them know. There’s a world of Peace in that. We might think of it as doing good, but we might just think of it as giving thanks… ‘Tis the season after all!

Enjoying Peace, llvl

I love living in a small town. You hear that from me again and again. La vida local. My vida local. Your vida local.

It’s not as if there aren’t plenty of problems to be addressed. There are societal and cultural problems and there are just as many personal issues — estrangements, accidents, illnesses — as any other place. All of those things need our attention.

But it’s easier, I find, to give them my attention when it feels as if I belong here and that I can perhaps make a difference.

But when I belong here, I know what there is to do. I’m hoping your little town is like this, because there’s lots to do here. This week there were three things I didn’t get to because there were other things I did get to!

And that makes life a pleasure. Everyone should dabble in pleasure now and again. It keeps you going for the long haul. It keeps you investing in making your life and your community sweeter. Peace!

“Peace on Earth” Sabbath, llvl

What if we just blow right past that old Happy Holidays debate, not that I don’t hope that all of your holidays are happy, whatever you celebrate? What if we just decide to wish one another Peace on Earth! Joy to the World!

What if we then decided to make it so.

There you go. December. Peace on Earth month. Whatever else you’re celebrating, let’s also spend a little time focusing on this.

Here’s to a lovely, lazy day. Or a day filled with lots of enjoyment. Or even one catching up on all those things… Enjoy yourself!

Peace on Earth! Joy to the World. You’ll hear that from me a lot. Better get used to it! What more could we ask? ‘Tis almost the season.

Peace Offerings, llvl

It often seems that the sacrifices we make these days are of the things that might save us. We’ll sacrifice relationships for rewards. (And we develop relationships with people on FB rather than, say, people.)

Let’s be clear, I’m not pointing any fingers here. There are plenty of cues I miss… Plenty of times I opt out of life.

Sacrifice seems so last mid-century. Everyone sacrificed. It was hard work, we didn’t like it. So we stopped.

Now things continue that we could change. But we don’t.

Was there a perfect era? Was everyone happy, safe, homed, fed? No.

Was there a sense of connection to something communal? Yes. Does that instill in us a sense of obligation to that bigger thing? Yes. Did it take investment? Did it take sacrifice? Yes, that too…

When we don’t take Peace seriously, when we are not responsible to it, the world continues to devolve. Someone asked an expert on Palestine the other evening what would change the war. He said what was required was for the trickle of interaction between the people would need to become a river and then a flood. That everything in the economy of other countries was angled toward that particular war. Only the people can change it.

It would take hard work. It would take sacrifice. But Imagine. We might be part of what brings Peace. The Peace on Earth Season is right around the corner. Let’s consider Peace. Let us make offerings small and large to Peace. That might put wonder back in the holiday season!

In Your Own Peace, llvl

I’ve been thinking about presence, which I believe is a sacred act. And then I realized that too often I overlook myself as worthy of that radical action.

I postpone taking care of myself, my space, sometimes my wardrobe. I’m not always attentive with my money. Some of this is just personality. But some of it is not. Some of it is just stuff I procrastinate about.

And so last week, I started at the gym. Finally. I like to swim. I really like to swim. But even loving the water doesn’t get me to the pool three times a week. And the pool is not enough. So I’ve paid my money to increase my membership and now in the last two weeks I’ve been to the gym three times. I’ll go once more this week. Two or three swims and two gyms. Every week.

Because I’m worth it. And because I’m 62. If I don’t work on those core muscles now, I won’t have them later. All reports say it’s going to be a slip slidey Winter. Let’s keep the balance thing going. And I’m an Evans, and we’re pretty long-lived. That means I both want to honor that heritage and face the reality of needing to be in good shape.

It’s unlikely that I’m one of those people destined to become a gym-rat. I’m sure it will make me feel better. It will certainly make me look better. Somewhere, if I’m lucky there will be endorphins (so far, my biggest excitement about the recumbent bike is that I can read. OK. I’ll take that. Some people claim you can do that on the stair master, but somethings I don’t need to test quite yet. Maybe some day.)

But if I think of this as offering myself radical presence. If I think of it as one long ongoing prayer of gratitude for my body and my life, this may be the goad I need. Maybe. It really goes against my thealogy not to consider myself central to the hard work I’m willing to do in the world. And yet, I’ve done that effectively for years… sigh.

“It’s me, it’s me, it’s me oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer.” Don’t hesitate to ask me gently how I’m doing in this sacred endeavor.

So here’s me, counting me in as worthy not only of working for Peace, but of creating it for myself. Amen. Blessed Be. I wish the same for you and all your wonderfulness.

Showing Up for Peace, llvl

There is an art to participating in life, in coping with the daily events and in rising to the occasion.

Some of the skills we learn in our family — if they know them — and others we learn from our community — if we have one.

More and more, I am reminded of the importance of community and yes even organized community. We see the stats of falling membership in churches, and worry that the churches are fading… But I’m not sure that should be our only concern about these diminishing communities. As a minister, no big surprise, I believe faith is important and that it matters that we put our Love to work in the world, but I also think that membership is important. It enriches our lives if we belong to a group, particularly if that group helps us look at why we show up.

One of the ways showing up can help us is that we learn from others who show up. We watch, we observe, we imitate. This is so important in the observing of life’s milestones.

Sadly, tragedy is one of those milestones. There is no life free from it. Death is the inevitable end of life. Many of us think we will end our lives in quiet old age in our sleep, but this is true for only about a third of us.

One of my friends would argue that a person’s death is not a tragedy, but if that person is beloved to us, it is a personal tragedy. We lose that person, we are reminded that life is fleeting, we realize how precious and fragile life is. And other life events impact communities, even nations, even the world.

We want to say something. We want to make sense of things. But death is a simple reality and the surviving deal with that devastation in many ways. Our own experience is different from that of others’. So do we say? A simple “I’m sorry.” or and “I’m thinking of (praying for) you.”

We don’t know what others believe about an afterlife, that’s for them to tell us. There’s no sense to be made of such loss at this time, that just tells people they can’t feel what they feel. So we show up. With some cake, or some fruit, or an easily digested meal. We offer presence, knowing that we can’t make this awful reality any better by anything we say.

We listen. Because people need to tell the story. We step up and handle things the mourners might have had to handle. And we wait. We keep vigil. We are present to their needs without imposing ours. It’s a hard lesson to learn, and it helps to have a community because there will be those people who manage these things graciously and we can learn from them. Because as with any art, there’s a lot of practice, missteps and discipline to make it as effortless as it looks. The effortless is well-rehearsed. So presence is sometimes all that offers Peace. And sometimes being presence is withdrawing. It’s what they need… so it’s what we give. Peace.

Sacred Village

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