Parental Peace

I was so lucky to be able to come back home in my 50s and be together with my parents in their last years. I came back in 2002. Daddy died in 2008 and Mommie in 2010. I worked as their aide and caretaker for a lot of that time. It was lovely.

My parents were married for 65 years. They were sweethearts still. But they were very different from one another, and In this time I got to know them both better. Daddy was more mobile and we read together and dined out. And in the way of old folks we went to the doctors a lot. Life is what it is, isn’t it…

But earlier, Sam was an involved community citizen. He was on the School Board, the Municipal Board, the Boards that started the Day Care Center and the Women’s Center. Oh, right, he was an Evans. He was on the Swimming Pool Board. He was a Deacon, a Trustee and an Elder at his church (don’t ask me the difference, it’s all so confusing!) and also served regionally. He visited people in the hospital.

I learned from him. I learned it’s not scary to visit in the hospital or to hang with someone who is dying. I learned to step up and step in. I’m not a committee person, but I am an activist. It’s a challenge, because in activism you have to sustain the momentum yourself. But it’s worth it!

So what a lucky girl I am. Two wonderful parents. Nurses at home loved my parents. They loved Betty as we all did because she was talented and charming. But they longed to know Sam. As one woman said… He was a good father, wasn’t he? (The best.) I wish I’d had a good father. (He’s here for the using. It’s never too late to have a good dad.)

He wasn’t that playful, laughing Daddy. But he was a good and thoughtful man who loved us unconditionally. And he taught us by example and explicitly to be good people. And then he was proud as punch of us. I know how lucky that makes me.

I know that there is Peace in my world because of both of them and because I knew I was well loved. I hope there is love in your world, too. I hope you are the love in your world. Peace be with us all. Now more than ever, may we be Peace.

Love and Peace

My father died, officially of old age, 7 weeks after this photo of Betty was taken. He announced his intention to die when Mommie and he were separated. “You’re ending my marriage, I took a vow to care for her.” They never heard him on that.

I asked him then not to go, to give me six months, since I had just lost a dear friend and my brother-in-law. He gave me seven.

He loved Betty, they had a love affair that spanned their 65 years of marriage. And even after. Whether it was Betty’s dementia or whether Sam actually showed up, he “visited” her ever day at lunch time for two and a half years. She giggled and flirted like the 22-year-old she was when she met him.

Love is a many splendored thing. We can’t know how many ways. We cannot count them.

Love is a Peace all its own. Let us Love. Let us Peace.

New Family Peace

Some huge percentage of families are blended families. Sadly, those with small kids often don’t do the work to get everyone relaxed and on board with the new mix.

I was lucky. I came into a family when my husband’s daughters were already grown and launched and incredibly generous in making space for a whatever I am to them. Friends at least. Definitely Family. Goodness I adore them. And they seemed pretty ready to be folded into my messy extended family. And they’ve supported and loved me as my birth family has gone through illness and death.

And then there were kids. Bonus. I’d never dreamed of being a grandmother. I have lots of kids I love… but not having kids, you don’t really think about the next generation. But kids are kids. They’re not parsing out who’s who and what’s what. Grandmother. Grannianni. That’s you. Take me to the movie! oh, ok. Play in the pool. oh, I can do those things. I’m not great or a natural. But they’re great and naturals at being kids.

And so, we make Peace, however infrequent or halting. Life is fragile, so it’s good to gather together, whoever can make it, at whatever table’s available. There are all kinds of Peace out there to be giving a chance. Let’s Peace.

Ring in the New Peace

Listen. When Life changes, listen for the call to Peace. It’s there. And if you can’t hear it, perhaps you have to strike the gong yourself. The gong sounds for many reasons: to ask for quiet, to ask us to listen, to ask us to wake up. (And let’s not forget that some places it rings to call us to dinner! Always go to dinner!)

We’re what Peace has. Let’s be about our business.

Twirling for Peace

The dancing I’ve looked at in the last couple posts has been about the way the music calls you into itself.

Twirling is more deliberate than that. I spent some time investigating, we can’t say researching, twirling and what it does.

Twirling is meditation. And the skirts have not only purpose, but have meaning. Consider this that I found this piece on the Sufi’s spinning garments from Tech Times: “the performance brings the dancer’s skirt into a hypnotic flow while the performer reaches a state of trance. After examining the twirling skirts, scientists have established that it can be correlated with the weather patterns on earth.

The patterns seen by tourists during the dance ritual can be traces its roots 700 years to ancient Persia, are acting because of the same Coriolus features that help create strong hurricanes.”

I don’t know what this means, but it’s fascinating.

So think about that the next time you see a little girl twirling. We might want to be twirling ourselves!

Twirling for Peace, that is, in our hurricane skirts.

Dance with Me Peace!

I like to dance, although I haven’t done as much lately. And alas, my beau’s gig where you could dance is disappearing for a bit.

I like to dance with partners and I like to dance in a group. We need more dancing.

But what I really love about dance, I haven’t done for years. It’s time on the floor where you are completely outside yourself and inside the music and you dance. and then, all of a sudden there’s a person next to you. You’re not together. You’re just moved to move.

The joy is overwhelming. In fact, it’s so overwhelming, it’s contagious. I love how these two kids are standing by one another and yet completely unaware of the other… but the first kid gave the second permission.

What if we let ourselves be taken by the joy again? This is a universal impulse.

We squash it out of folks at a young age.

We should stop that.

We should Peace. Because I’m convinced this could be part of it.

Let’s Dance for Peace

It’s something we all have. For some of us it lasts a lifetime. Most of us, however, tamp it down early. But if there’s anything that’s infectious, it’s a beat.

We’re having a party to read the constitution. Maybe we should have a party to just dance. To let the music move us and to recognize we are in the same place, all of us… happy, laughing… stunned by the Beauty.

We’ve all heard the drums of war. What beat do the drums of good neighbors and Peace keep? What beats make us burst into spontaneous laughter and joy.

Shouldn’t we find out?

Peace. Could we consider giving it a chance.

Country Peace

I always think that country and blues are not my favorite genres (well, if they’re not old timey blues!). And then I hear them. And then I think about which songs I tend to know the words too…

I like the songs that are willing to capture the beauty of a day or a simple life. Even when there’s hardship and challenge, there’s often the reminder, as there is in the psalms, that there are things of great beauty and we need to remember them.

Country music, honky-tonk blues make ideas concrete. Nothing ethereal about them. Just a good beat and some good sense. (Ok, not the drinking, i’ll never love anyone else, oh, my truck blues… but the other.)

Frank sings the heck out of those blues… or is it that he sings the Peace into them.

Every once in a while, it’s pretty great to have some Country Peace!

Improvising Peace

Peace is often a matter of slow steps. It starts with a longing and then small steps get taken, hopefully on both sides. It can be uneven. One side may have to travel a bit farther than the other to further the cause.

But once things are moving, there’s room for joy. It can get touchy. We have to listen to each other. If we make sure the chord structure is solid, if we play the tune of Peace well, then there is room for wild, explosive, and joyous improvisation.

Peace. It’s a plain and simple thing and a wild and wonderful thing — but only if we do our work!

Children Sing for Peace

This baby obviously knows that Peace is important and that playing is the way to bring it. I love the composition of this pic. Van is so large; his child is so small. But that child is playing the harmonic full on.

And Van is charmed; not bothered. On the one hand, it’s his baby. On the other hand, knowing Van, he’d be just as welcoming of whatever kid came up to hang by his leg (harmonica or no)… and Van, being Van, draws the littles like flies.

That’s bringing the music. That’s making space for laughter, Love and Peace to happen.

One way or another, making the space and bringing the Peace is what we’re all called to do.

Sacred Village

Building a World of Peace, Village by Sacred Village.

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