Peace Has No Place for Hate & Fear

We’ve seen it before: The ugly need to keep life the same and one’s power intact that drives fear and hatred’s need to double down.

But even if it’s simply hatred’s death throes, it’s ugly and it hurts people. And we’ve never acknowledged the wounds done by the last times a dinosaur had to die. Racism is still — or perhaps again — a modus operandi, both conscious and unconscious for many. Women’s lives are still constricted, still being constricted by men’s fears and their own. And now the Other is the GLBT folk.

It’s time to take the dinosaurs off life support. It’s time to acknowledge that the world has changed. Charles Blow detailed today in his op-ed piece in the NY Times the numbers of youth who are walking away from the churches of their youth and posited that they would walk away from the Republican Party . My hope is that when they walk, they don’t just sit down in disgust (or at least not for long) and walk to somewhere else.

Life will not work if we’re merely deconstructing. Reach out and reach up. Let’s be the change that the world is waiting for, to paraphrase Elie Wiesel, a man who stood in the midst of extreme ugliness, who has continued to call for people’s return — journey — to their highest self.

So, yes, sign those petitions. But do more. Get up. Look in the mirror, root out the ways you participate. Make friends across the boundaries. Live in the discomfort of your unattractive assumptions of privilege and change them for the world’s betterment and your own. It’s time. If we wait, people continue to be hurt. And while we’re screwing around thinking these things are not our problem (oh, they are, they are), there are a million worse things that are happening, and they’re our responsibility as well. Let us be the change. Let’s wake up and then step up. Let us say a loud and resounding NO to hatred. Then let us say yes to life and get on about the business of creating a Peace-filled world.

Sugar, Peace & La Vida Local

It’s sugar time here. Or was for a weekend. And won’t be again for a while, if, as is threatened, another Polar Vortex comes rushing through.

It’s the thing about living where you live. In New York City or the Bay Area, if I talked about sugaring, it was all a metaphor. It didn’t happen there.

But here, where I live, weather conditions change and people I know go out into the woods and stick a spigot in their trees and hang a bucket on it. And then they boil. One woman boils in her house. My buddy in MN boils over an open fire. He wrote this morning saying it’ll be the Equinox before they have the first syrup over ice cream… It’s hard work that relaxes, makes memories and deepens the sweetness of the syrup.

Another guy I know is talking about becoming a beekeeper. Lots of people I know garden and then make amazing meals from their take. Since I still tend to eat ingredients rather than a meal, (although whew! can this girl chop veggies for a salad!)

When you live close to the land, the land is part of the local life… whether you work the land or admire it from afar.

Sugaring, bringing a little slow Peace and Sweetness into everyone’s life.

Holding out for Peace, llvl

I’m not sure whether things are actually worse than they were or whether I’ve just gotten an eyeful. But I’ve been astonished by the hate recently. Our government will not ratify a UN agreement on the rights of the disabled, even though it is built upon our own American Disabilities Act, because they will not pass anything. And they believe they are governing. In state governments, women’s rights are being narrowed, hatred toward our GLBT brothers and sisters is being codified, and someone has just introduced an act in a state legislature that allows parents and schools to “spank” (oh why use beat???) a child until a bruise is raised without any fear of reprisal. And around Christmas some fool governor posited that if only the child welfare/work laws were relaxed we could compete with other countries’ manufacturing prices, because you know, you don’t have to pay children the already unliving wage we’re paying/not paying adults.

I know, I have learned, that for me, the only useful response to what I find wrong in the world is to take action on what I can.

We all make Peace from where we stand. We contribute our gifts to pave the path.

But action is required. It worries me that we begin to believe that being outraged on Face Book changes life. Some of us go a bit farther and click through to petitions, and then we go back to posting charming distractions. And the dissonance continues to build.

I read recently that the distance separating the haves and have nots creates different mental distress. The have nots become depressed, which works to keep them from asking for what they want and need. The haves become narcissistic which encourages them to feel exploited (i know, difficult to quite get there, eh?) and protective, believing that, i don’t know, children should be beaten, women controlled and one fears to consider what they believe should happen to GLBT folk. Hidden under all this is racism.

There’s a delicate dance to be done of noticing the evil and not being beaten down by it. Of looking at the problems and rather than being overwhelmed, choosing the one small piece with which you can use your gifts and getting to work making a difference… Peace needs us… and we need Peace, but we’re only going to get there together… and by working very hard.

Local Peace Possibilities, llvl

I’m beginning to believe that Peace Dreams become more possible as you immerse yourself in your community. Partially, that may be because you begin to attune your dreams to what’s needed in your neighborhood. Partially, it’s because as you deepen friendships, you develop allies and a better instinct for who might be interested in what.

You not only get better instincts about who might clap for Tinkerbelle, but also who might run out and get her a power drink and who might work on the long-term problems that tend to make her fade away.

Comrades not in arms but in Love, in Peace.

Which is a good thing, because the journey to Peace is long, but it’s so much more possible in the company of our friends. And the Possibilities are endless as people add their thoughts and dreams. And so the Dream gets bigger. People step up. The hard work gets shared. and we’re off. Watch out Peace, the village is coming to play. Ah la vida local. What a sweet thing to live!

Re-engaging our Peace, llvl

We don’t know if the people who stole our friends’ car were kids on a dangerous joy ride or souls with more nefarious purpose in mind. It was fairly interesting to talk to some people at my husband’s gig last night, apparently, more than one guy we now know as fine, upstanding citizen, at least once drove on the wild side.

I was such a good girl, and in fact, some appearances to the contrary, still am. Never strayed toward that line. And I’ve never been one to throw myself down a hill on skis or hop off a high dive, or, or, or. I hope I take mental and emotional risks now and again… but I don’t get how it’s fun to jack a car.

And we hope that’s all it was. stupid kids who some how missed the respecting property memo.

And whatever the intent, I’m familiar enough with the sense of violation you might feel…I’ve had a person rummage through my chest of drawers, looking for drug money. Bastid stole my ukelele. I haven’t played since. One wonders what the street value of a ukelele is… oops digression.

When I lived in Oakland, where no one dreamed cars were safe, Gramma May channeled her insomnia to the good. she and her television sat and kept watch. So when a local gang thought Aileen Street would be a good place to set up Car Boost School, one car was broken into, and then she made two calls: one to her sons and then 911. The guys were on the street before the cops. May’s sons and the cops gave our block an out-of-bounds status.

While the neighborhood thrived under her careful and tender regard (she not only went after the ‘bad guys,’ she made sure no one made the mistake of leaving anything lying around to tempt, either.), there was no illusion of safety. There was instead an ethic of caring.

Living in this little town has felt, and mostly is different. Some of it’s proximity to the law enforcement. I’m likely to think that if someone stole that car it was a kid. The fact that the car was a block and a half away from the local jail would mean that savvy burglars would avoid the area. (Just keep moving.) Too many cops.

Still, feeling safe is something to aim for. Now there are always going to be reasons some people steal. Drug habits are expensive… Life for some is just too challenging. But some of the reasons people steal need to be eliminated. Kids need to be fed and clothed and housed… we need to make sure there’s money for that. Don’t talk to me about entitlement, talk to me about what kids need. People need work. We all need community built by trusting friends and Gramma Mays. And, as Mr. Marley taught us a long time ago. No Justice, No Peace.

We can’t allow ourselves to be frightened off by life. We need to acknowledge its difficulties and keep moving toward Peace. To do less is set our goals to low. There’s a lot of hard work to be done, so let’s step up. And in the meantime, let’s be realistic. However, I’m not bringing my shovel in. Peace. and keep my friends in your thoughts as they adjust to a new normal.

Love-Peace

This may be the world’s most important connection.

It’s so painful sometimes to touch the Love we live in. What comes up first, usually, is the spots where Love isn’t. And so we guard those spots and they get bigger and bigger. And take up more of the space we want to use for Loving the world — or Loving ourselves.

It’s where we have to start isn’t it? in the Loving ourselves part of our hearts… It’s hard work, but it’s the first step to Peace. When we see ourselves as valuable, we see our neighbor as valuable too…

Let’s patch up our hearts and get them back up to snuff… We’ll feel better. And the world will have a much better shot at Peace…

Expect Advent Peace

What if we just did that? What if we just expected it to be Peaceful and then acted as if it had happened? How would the world change?

This isn’t like wishing for a pony for Christmas, this is expecting that you will care for all ponies because ponies are needful.

This is an expectation of yourself that you will be Peace. In Advent, in the sacred season of coming into being… This is an unwillingness to expect any less, not only of yourself but of others and then loving yourself and your neighbors when we fail and encouraging us all to try again.

Expect Peace. The world needs you to ask the very best from it, to not settle from less. Part of expectation is going back again and again and again, and asking for more. Advent: Hope. Love. Joy. Peace. The hard work of Advent is expecting all of that. C’mon, I have great expectations of us.

Harmonize in Joy for Advent Peace

I find singing harmony far more fun than singing alone. When everyone has to listen to each other whether or not you’re singing lead, it’s so fun. And when you’re singing lead, in some ways your choices are narrowed. You sing the tune. You hold the center. It’s not about being Ms. Bigshot, it’s about holding the clarity while other people weave around you. Because if you start wandering off, your harmonizers have nothing to hold on to and you make them look bad.

If you’re a strong center, then everyone else gets to lay back and take risks. And if a risk goes awry, oh, well, the center held, try again. Ready to take the risks for a while. Find someone else strong enough to hold the center. Ah-mazing! And then everyone needs to adjust as a new singer starts. Where is the center of their notes?

Oh, it’s a good metaphor for this Peace-making thing. First you find the tune, then you find the grace notes that embellish it, all the while listening to the other singers so that your grace glides lightly over their grace. Peace! Harmony! and Understanding! Yahoo. That’s what you want in this season of Holidays! Making Magic. Making Memories. Doing the hard work and having a fine time as you do it. Joy! Joy! Joy! Deep in my heart.

Exhale for Peace

And inhale too. But the inhale is automatic; the exhale needs concentration. And without breath, there is no peace.

Some days there’s too much to be done. I keep remembering that biblical injunction: Sufficient unto the days are the troubles thereof. Well, sometimes the troubles are more than sufficient. Particularly as I struggle with grief.

You have to keep an eagle eye on grief. When is it grief? When does it tilt toward depression. How do you honor the grief and stay faithful to yourself? How do you deal with the grief and the what the world needs? Luckily I have a great team of PCP who are tracking me: watching my BP, holding me accountable to exercise… (must get in pool today. must. must.) So easy to postpone. Work, Inertia. Grief. Inertia. Hello, Exercise, Oxygen. Come back, WW. Count those points. All of which needs to be balanced with staring into space.

If there’s anything I’m sure of, grief is a physical activity as well as one of the heart, soul and mind. Careful with those fragile bodies. I’m not at all sure we don’t need to resurrect some of those Victorian grieving traditions, to look at cultures that mourn well and see what we need to take on. “Getting on with life” is not only overrated, it’s ridiculous. Absence is as real a thing as presence. It’s disorienting. All that energy, dispersing into the universe. They’ve just discovered that energy carries memory. Wild science fiction as truth (and metaphor) as a person’s life swirls past you on their way out the door. Is it ridiculous to consider being present to Absence?

On those days when those memories lay you low, you want to lay low. But sometimes life, insistent and constant, has other ideas. Just because your heart is breaking doesn’t mean someone else’s life isn’t falling apart. And sometimes, not always, you have to be there with your hands out to catch someone before they hit the ground. That’s hard. That’s life.

When that happens, you have to try and remember the beauty. You have to lean on your friends. You have to get a good night’s sleep. And, in my opinion, you have to help out. Because folks need you. You may not be graceful. You may botch up the catch. You may need to keep a list of references on hand so you can find other support for folk who look to you for help.

And as you offer a steadying hand. Look for the beauty that inspires and supports you. Life. A fragile boat. And the hands on the oars are uncertain. But on we paddle. And hold the sweetness close.

Present for Peace

Everyone’s life is busy. And when you add our illusion of control to our to do list, we begin to think our tasks are monumentally important. And it’s clear, says one over her head in tasks, that sometimes tasks require an immense amount of attention.

However, in the midst of that busyness, we are often asked by friends or even strangers to show up. Every instinct screams that we don’t have time… sometimes that’s right, but we need to be sure.

Because often the very most important thing we can do is to do less than our stellar best on a task and make time for a relaxed, human encounter. My parents drilled this into me. They were at a friend’s house once. The friend was dying. They’d gone for a visit. “Stay,” he said. “Tasks,” they said. He died that week. “Never do that,” they said to us. “Never.”

We need to prioritize Friendship. We need to prioritize Love. We need to prioritize Life’s Sacred Passages and show up for them. Houses may be messy, grass un-mown, but cups of tea and glasses of beer or wine will be had, shoulders will be cried on. Funerals will be attended, conversations will be frank, people will get the ride they need to the doctors appointment or the medicine from the drug store. Doing good work and good works is the most important work. Stepping up can be hard work, yet, in doing that, simple presence will be offered and life will be transformed.

Extending our hands beyond our normal circles of caring begins to build great possibilities, and starts us down the road toward a Peace that is bigger than we are. All because we rearrange our time and our priorities. It’s sometimes messy and frustrating and inconvenient, but Peace and Caring? as the ad says… Priceless.

Sacred Village

Building a World of Peace, Village by Sacred Village.

Tag Archives: hard work