Everyday Struggles of my Mixed-Race Relationship

Dear Bartender and Priestess,

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we love each other and are committed to our relationship. We have one major stumbling block, though.

We are a couple of mixed race. He is a white man in his late 30s, who has not had a ton of experience trying to understand a life outside of the one he was born into. I am a black woman in the city, and I feel like my identity is tightly wound around my culture, race, and politics. Continue reading

Eating Disorders, Honesty, and Marriage

Dear Bartender and Priestess,

I have always believed that couples are allowed to keep portions of themselves locked away from their partners. You know, the part where we keep our deep secrets, where we can turn thoughts over as we work to understand how these thoughts and memories and philosophies have helped shape us into the people we become. (I mean, does my husband need to know Continue reading

Pink Moon Peace Realities

It is what it is. My friend Lenore says that all the time. And I keep coming back to it.

Paid my taxes yesterday. Every year, the Pink Moon arrives and you can bet that Tax Day won’t be far behind. It was a stretch. And you know what? I’m doing it wrong. Year after year. It doesn’t change — because I don’t change.

I like to think I’m just that way with money. but I’m pretty sure I’m lying to myself. I think if I did some accounting, I’d be aware of places I’m not balanced in most of my life.

I know I pay a price for it financially. What do you want to bet I pay a price for it in other ways… and other people pay a price as well…

And then that lovely question… and what am I going to do about it?

Realities just help us to see both the distance and the terrain of the journey to Peace. Peace means a lot of things. Our honesty is part of the struggle. Sigh. There’s always work to do. Luckily it’s a beautiful day for work. What day isn’t?