There have certainly been friends in my life who have wandered away or from whom I’ve wandered. But most endings weren’t wildly dramatic. Even endings with most boyfriends were fairly civil not long afterwards, but I’ll confess that I don’t know where some of the formerly important people in my life are.

Maybe that because I’ve moved around a fair amount, so it was easy to move on. No need to hold a grudge because they weren’t really visible in my life any more. A couple of those losses were very painful and I’m happy not

But the interesting thing to me about the man who’s life I celebrated yesterday was his ability to keep his universe intact. Maybe because he lived in this area most of his life, it was more difficult to lose people altogether. But even when he was separated from friends, he knew how to find them again. And he often did. From all accounts, he was pretty volatile. He’d stop talking to folks. But then, he’d miss them, review what went wrong and make it right. He must have been a wonderful friend, because his funeral was packed with guys who had been his friends for years — even if somewhat off and on.

He’s a guy who took the “apologize and make amends” step in AA incredibly seriously. When he found out his cancer had come roaring back, he took a good look at who he wanted in his life as he was living his last years and found them. They made up and they made life happen. As up and down as his temper was, his heart was steady. When it was a matter of life and death, he put aside indulging his temper and simply loved…

I was fascinated and impressed by how hard he worked at friendship. I was touched by how many cherished this hard work. I was inspired to do better. He left an amazing legacy of Loving and Peace-making. May we all do the same…